Lawsuit Time!

Funny, that. It was just the other day that Shirty expressed it's desire to take on the form of a copywritten image to (and these are direct quotes from the shirt) "stick to the man" who's been "keeping shirts pressed or folded for generations now" and depriving them of their rights to a starchy, varnished, 3-D existence. Seemed like a really bad idea.

We begged. We pleaded. We ordered Chinese food.

And then we said, 'screw it!' Look, if a pink, three-dimensional, shiny, starchy shirt insists that Disney Corp (a division of McDonnell-Douglas Killing Machines) has given a shirt permission to use one of it's images in blatant violation of it's intended purpose, who are we to argue?

Fine, if it's really a problem, we'll get our people to take their people out for a night of Uno and panhandling and all should be settled...

Evil, thy name is Shirty

One of the best things about Shirty is that it can be anyone. And today's post illustrates the sheer versatility of Shirty (not on par with, say, that franchise of movies where Rambo played a boxer called Rocky, but close)...

So, without further delay: He's evil, and always wears black (except for today); he admitted that he's Luke's father without even demanding a paternity test, and supposedly, he invented walking.

Feel yourself overwhelmed by the power of the Shirt side.

She's not that pretty, but she's got a great smile...

There's something wonderfully blasphemous about 'improving on art.' Typically it just shouldn't happen, as it's usually done by some hack who thinks that whoopie cushins are funny (by the way, they aren't; just in case you weren't sure, but didn't want to answer for fear of looking like a tool, or a possibly an imbecilic morning-show DJ).

It's like that guy who added the can opener to the painting of the can of tomato soup. Lame.

Or whoever decided to give all of the heads on Mount Rushmore crossed-eyes. Weak.

But, since we here at The Daily Shirt are infallible and just generally awesome, it's completely okay...nay...expected, to merge Shirty with the face that is the focal point of what is one of the most famous paintings in history (no, it's not one of those dogs playing poker...)

The Harp

Well, another week is upon us, and you know what that means... Back to work! Aren't you excited??

No?? Oh...well, than, think of it this way. Going to work means that I get to put up another post on The Daily Shirt! So, if you like The Daily Shirt - regardless of whether you go to work or not (perhaps some of you work non-9-to-5 jobs...or don't work at all) - than you should be f**king thankful that it's the start of a new work week. Got it?

Let's try this again... Aren't you excited that it's a new work week? Yeah? Well that's just super to hear!

So, who do we have gracing Shirty today, you ask? Why it's none other than Canada's own Arbusto, Stephen Harper; Mr. Increase defence spending aka offense spending aka tax dollars used to kill people of different skin colours in far away lands so that our economic system can come in and set up shop in those far away lands and make a killing exploiting the indigenous population and their resources so that we can continue to gorge ourselves on the spoils of the blood of others...Himself: The Harp. Enjoy!

Arbusto

Greetings Shirtaholics...

Well, now that you've seen Shirty in it's natural environment and as it's main personality (yup, if you look close, it's Joan Rivers who hath bestowed upon our simple shirt the powers of transmogrification AND the secret to the perfect omelette), it seems appropriate to start at the beginning...not the grocery store beginning, we've already covered that - but yet ANOTHER beginning. You know, the putting-faces-on-Shirty beginning that we covered yesterday...

So, we here at The Daily Shirt are proud to present Shirty as he first burst onto the scene (and proceeded, in just 24 hours, to become absolutely HUGE in Japan), as the 628th Presbian of the United Shirts (oh, and also the current United States president); destroyer of Texan energy companies, starter of wars and abandoner of the people, we give you 'The Decider;' George W. Bush.

Behold...the majesty of Shirty...

Shirty started life (we think) as a real shirt. I know, I know...hard to believe; but in much the same way that we humans evolved from dust bunnies, so to did a simple shirt from a small town come to become a heavily starched and thoroughly varnished monument to workplace sillyness.

And then Frank just had to go and stick Arbusto's face on a piece of cardboard one day...

And then I just had to start ANOTHER sentence with a conjunction...but that's another rant for another street corner.

The point is, Shirty is real. And we stick faces on it and take pictures. And now publish them on this blog for your amusement. So, check back regularly 'cause the plan is to update this blog daily...ish...with pictures of Shirty in all sorts of faces and having all sorts of adventures while we try not to all sorts of break it as we do dumb things with an ugly varnished pink shirt.

Humble Origins

It all started with a trip to the grocery store. And it all ended with a purchase at said grocery store.

And then, for awhile, not much really happened.

But then it started again, though admittedly it was a different kind of 'start.' For one, there was no grocery store involved; though the purchase at the store was the focal point of the new and different start.

For it was one fine day that Frank afixed the first head to Shirty. And that's when it started again...not the start from the store; you know, the restart from the third paragraph. Geez...

So, what is this Shirty? Who is Frank, and why would he afix a head to this Shirty? And why did I have to make this first post so damn confusing? These and many other questions that you don't know that you even have yet but will when some ADD-infused post causes the reader to scratch THE VERY BACK OF their head in bewilderment at some bizarre statement (or, in this case, run-on sentence) and wonder why they're reading this blog when there are flash games to play and youtube videos to watch...will be answered in the continuing adventures (and guises) of: The Daily Shirt