The Boat Lady

Hey All,

We have a small problem.

See, Frank, The Official Fixer Of Heads To Shirty (or TOFOHTS, as he's known around the office - it's true; it even says so on his business card) will be going on 'vacation' for a couple of weeks soon.

(I know what you're thinking: Why did I put single quotes around the word vacation? Is it to infer that it may in fact not be a vacation at all? Or maybe I just don't know how to use punctuation properly. I:ll let you. Be the, judge.}

Why is this trouble? Are you new? Who is going to help along the transformation whist he's at his 3 million dollar beach house??? (By the way, feel free to ask for some money when you see him; he loves it when you do that!)

Well, it seems like there's only one solution...well, there are probably more than that; I mean, in life, is there ever only one solution to a problem? Sure, other answers may be inadequate because, say, they don't take into account the precise amount that a woodchuck can chuck, but rarely is there ever ONLY one choice. That's the beauty of being an adult; you can seal your own grave with one wrong move. Ahh...responsibility.

Which brings us back to this business of Shirty and faces. So, I propose that I'll take over said duties, but! If any of you folks out there would like to see Shirty sporting a specific head, hook a Shirtmaster General up and we'll get 'em up there! No person is too dignified, nor noble, nor revered that they can't be made to look a little silly on ye ald enstarchenated, varnishified Shirt.

So, without further delay, we present a VERY dignified woman, who perhaps takes herself and her position in the world a little too seriously. But she's had an oil tanker named after her, so maybe she is a little important. Oh, and I forgot , she's got a doctorate too. Say hello to Ms. "Smoking gun = mushroom cloud" herself: Doctor Tanker!